• January 20, 2017

What I’ve learned becoming a family man

What I’ve learned becoming a family man

Wow, it’s been an incredible 18 months since Noa emerged into our lives.

Such unimaginable changes in him as he grew and evolved from being a baby in full of need of us to being a toddler starting to explore and discover the world.

What is even more incredible is the changes and transformation in myself as a man, father and husband.

Having a baby (those of you who are parents I am sure can testify to this) is like a hurricane coming through your life and home. It literally turns everything upside down, inside out, and shakes it all about until you don’t know what way is up.

It is being in the mixer for sure!

Those of you who have been to the AMAZON will know what I mean.

So yes I had my own personal mixer over these last 18 months, learning, growing evolving and developing not only my son but more majorly myself.

We brought Noa into the world through the LOTUS BIRTH TEMPLATE, click on this if you would like to explore this more as I wrote a beautiful article about the birth experience and INTEGRATING NEW SOULS INTO EARTH.

What I learned during this process is the incredibly important energetic connection the babies have with the placenta, it is indeed what Robyn Lin calls the forgotten chakra.

We had Akasha present at the birth, and he was staying with us during this period important integration period, and he was able to see how much energy was flowing between the placenta and Noa. The Lotus birth kept Noa attached to the placenta for several days until he was ready to let go, thus integrating him fully energetically into his physical template.

What I learned from this is that one of our original woundings is the first wounding of separation where we have the umbilical cord cut almost immediately after birth. The cutting of the cord creates not only separation anxiety which can play out for the rest of our lives but also abandonment trauma.

I remember the first few weeks being super intense, wow!   

Noa is very energetically sensitive (this translates as he cried a lot).  As a first-time parent’s everything, of course, is brand new, and for sure we were not fully prepared for the full on commitment that being a parent would entail.

Especially those first three months.

I kind of thought that my life would be able to track along much in the same way as before… Big mistake.  lol

This included how my personal days were taking shape. We laugh about now, but I carried on my routines of meditation, exercise and working flow during this period.  I did have a short break, but back then things were such that I needed to be income producing to keep us all afloat.

Out the other side, I recognise how heavy the matrix imprinting is of ‘being a man and having to provide’ and even how this typically plays out for most men who need to work all day.  Then come home in the early evening just in time to put their kids to bed.

In the first few months, I now recognise I had this programming, and there was quite some resistance to letting it go and doing it another way.  Thankfully my beloved Alaya with her love, gentleness and sometimes fierceness in protecting our family space was able to help me through reprogramming myself to be able to put the family space first and build around that everything else.

This change was such a beautiful and necessary change and shift in my life.  Previous to Noa I was able to be in full service of my mission, Alaya still enjoyed her freedom and time with friends while I was working.  However having a baby, of course, changed everything.

Looking back, I realise I  was going through resistance to making these changes. I was even holding underlying resentment in those early months for these enforced shifts and modifications to the workflow. I felt it was getting in the way of my mission.  I was losing sight that my mission was right in front of me at home.

It was the power looking into my son’s eyes and seeing the pure sparkling love radiating out, that drew me more and more into wanting and loving spending more and more time with him and being in our family bubble.

Certainly, there is no question I am lucky in that I don’t have a typical 9 – 5 job.


The matrix has created a structure whereby most family men are separated from their wives and children for long hours.  Now also by conscious choice, many mothers return to work a few short months after giving birth.  

I feel strongly without doubt, the most important role in society is a Mothers role in raising a child certainly in those early months and through the formative years.  It formulates a sense of feeling safe, protected, loved and cared for which increases the bond between parents and child in those early years.  It is this bonding created in the early years, that becomes the key pieces for influencing the child as they grow older.  After all, if you are not there for them in the early years, why would they bother listening to you in their teenage years?

I see how much time, energy, and effort Alaya put into our son and it blows my mind the love, dedicated and selflessness that she had towards not only Noa but our family.

This dedicated from Alaya brought me the lesson of putting family first not in ideas of concept, but in DEEDS and ACTIONS.  She is my greatest teacher and one who has shaped me most since our time together.  I love you, baby:-)

Now as I stand at the 18-month mark life has moved form the turn upside down and shake all around bit.  To synching into our routines and flows in holding our household together and enjoying the flow and love of being a family.

 

Thought I would share our flow as most parents are probably interested in how others do it.  It took us some time to settle into this, and I had to let go of a lot of old ‘needing to work/serve programming, let go of perfectionism and the little piece of rigidity to plans’.  I can have my day lined up, and Noa will do something that will throw everything out the window.  

I have had to learn to let go of my high expectations of what being productive means and remember that the most important things is being fully present with my family.

I feel we get it all wrong… I often hear so-called productivity experts talk about ‘QUALITY of time at home’.

That is nonsense.  Society has it all backwards…

It’s QUANTITY of time at home and QUALITY of time at work.

So now I work from around 12.30 / 1 pm to 6 pm Monday to Friday.  These hours mean I can be FULLY present at home, take Noa on our morning adventures of hiking, mountain biking, exercising, hanging out at the beach, getting him fed and nourished and handing him to Alaya for his first sleep around 12.  The I get started on my working day.

This flow means I have to be super FOCUSED. I don’t have time to mess about.  I don’t answer all emails (sorry if this triggered you at some point). I don’t procrastinate and only do what is the highest most important task to keep things moving forward.  I have to let go of a lot I wold like to do and only focus on the largest serving piece.

We do a couple of webinars in the evening a week, we have 3-4 one on one either healings or mentoring aspirants during the day in the week. Most likely this will drop away also and we will just focus on serving groups of people.  

In between that, I focus on content creation, developing new programs (we have a series of certifications we need to develop, we are scratching the surface on what we know about the energetics of being)

Last,  I get to email.  This in truth has probably one spill over time a week where in an hour or two I can catch up again for the week.

I have learned that I have to let go of a lot of things. Control being one.  I have learned to ask for help.  Let others step into their excellence and power and hand over significant amounts of what I used to do myself.

I am moving from holding everything together, to sharing this responsibility with a growing grouping of people feeling deeply connected with the MISSION.  

This is THE CHRISTOS REALIGNMENT MISSION.

This mission is the anchoring into humanity AVATAR CONSCIOUSNESS for our species.  

I am learning to use more and more my consciousness and intentions to focus and direct energy and hand responsibility over to others equally passionate about what we are doing.

All of this was born from the necessity of creating more space for family life.  I always knew my values were that FAMILY FIRST. However, when it came time to action this and integrate into life, it did take a few months of adjusting.

However, now we are settling into our family life and routines.  As Noa has got older, we have felt comfortable having a caregiver come and spend quality of time with him in the afternoons.  

We are blessed we are in a financial position to be able to do this, I realise that many families simply do not have this luxury and my full respect goes out to those families who do not have the support of family close by or can afford caregivers to their toddlers.

I fully believe it takes a tribe to grow up a child; this is a shared responsibility among a grouping to bring a child into the full bloom of adulthood.  

Thankfully we have some incredible teachers and mentors around Noa. I mean it doesn’t get better than Akasha, Gabriel, Asherah, Marianne, Solara, Ellie, Annette, et al who all get regular time with him.

Finding your soul family and tribe is one of the most important choices you can make in life.  (Number one is your life partner.)

The key is not having fair weather friends, people who are there in the good times.  People you hang out with due to shared habits and interests.  You need to choose your inner circle based on VALUES, not interests.  

When you get this value alignment, then you get people who would get up at 3 in the morning for you and do what needs to get done in times of need.

That is what FAMILY is about.  This is what LIFE is about.

This is the tribe you choose to create.  

Do it consciously, do protectively and most importantly do it with VALUES in mind. Deep meaningful relationships that form family bonds based on shared VALUES is the key to happiness.

These relationships are the most important to nourish and build. For I believe it is the building of these tribes and communities that hold’s the FAMILY and CHILDREN as the epicentre of ALL LIFE.



So now on the other side of the mixer, I sit transformed. I am HAPPY AND CONTENT.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t get it all done today, it doesn’t matter if I don’t get it all done tomorrow.  If I keep moving forward, it will get done in divine right timing.  

These adjustments out of managing ENERGY, not TIME are all down to my incredible son Noa and amazing wife, Alaya. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And of course, just when we are getting comfortable we are due to our second baby in 6 weeks. Two under two.  That’s going to come with more adjustment for sure.

Things are about to get a whole lot interesting…

Watch this space…